Connection with a Conversation

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When our ancestors began to learn how to speak and articulate language by constructing words with fixed meanings and shared intentions, was it just made to communicate without looking perplexed? Language is uniquely expressive; it can be incorporated with emotions and signals different than what it may seems like to the receiver. Because our natural system of communication system has complexities, we can’t just simply exchange information and create connections that is why we engage in conversations for us to further interpret messages and understand human interaction. This is the paramount of human innovation. Without it, civilization itself would be impossible. We cannot escape its influence by the time we are bombarded with technological advancements that arose in the modern age so did our mode of communication has changed a lot. Smartphones were first introduced to the world and later on are the internet and various social media platforms that has drastic impacts to people in today’s generation. The presence of these wireless communication technologies does have a lot of explanation that it is reducing the quality of our in-person conversation, but why is it?

"Conversation is more than communication", said David Gurteen from his online book on Conversational Leadership. You would probably ask how is it different and that is conversation enables our language development and it shapes our lives. As we interact with different individuals we learn how to convey, elaborate and interpret messages effectively considering the underlying internal and external factors that influences our connection between the person or a group. Also, we gain self-esteem and introspect ourselves and it will eventually cause a ripple effect on how we can improve our social skills because every conversation is different. It is spontaneous and dynamic. Unlike communication, we are simply connecting with people through the use of language with predetermined meanings, signs and rules. Don’t you know that the context where the conversation takes place and our observations of the person’s behavior, we’re talking to will have an impact on how we interpret messages as well.

In today’s generation, most of us are fully accustomed with technology on how we function in our daily lives. Just like texting and social media, it became the central to communication and entertainment and it made much easier for us to connect with different people to spend time on our own across various social media platforms that are accessible in our smartphones. In a single touch of these, we can make our days less boring and be distracted. However, are we aware that those things are slowly changing us? Has it become too much convenient for us that we are not able to notice it? We’ve kept ourselves in a constant unspeaking situation where we feel most likely don’t want to be interrupted. This is what Sherry Turkle described as “Connected, but alone?” in her Ted talk eight years ago.  We’ve been constantly avoiding every chances of conversation in exchange for a mere connection with people we certainly most know nothing about. We are consumed by our smartphones, by this social media, and it’s ridiculous. It’s isolating us from each other. This is probably what Mark Glaser meant in an audience on Stories from Experts About the Impact of Digital Life by Anderson and Rainie (2018) that it would take extra effort for people just to take a few hours of break away from those distractions. Because of this habit of lacking interest and overlooking the important things we can learn from a conversation it leads our conversational skills into deterioration. Robert Kraut and his colleagues introduced the phenomenon of “internet paradox” where those smartphones and social media accounts we own may increase our levels of connection but it reduces the quality of what we speak of and the empathic connection that allows us to learn from one another.

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It would do us good to take a break from those constant presses we do with our smartphones and keeping ourselves tracked on social media 24/7 from time to time, at least. We might also consider taking a rest on the run in the worry of being alone. Because in solitude, we’ll be able to create our own quiet space and start asking deep ended questions to ourselves then we develop our capacity for introspection. Conversation is the most human thing we do; it defines us being social animals. We should always try to engage in a conversation with people we’re connected to. Because of our capability of speech patterns, it led us to myriad innovations across the world. It is special that is why we need to value this human prerogative. In relationship to our social environment through conversation, over time we develop togetherness and empathy—because we interact with differences among people, we learn to identify our emotions and of those others we interact with and understand the concept and purpose of human interaction.

References

Anderson, J., & Rainie, L. (2018). The negatives of digital life. Stories from Experts About the Impact of Digital Life. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/07/03/the-negatives-of-digital-life/

Gurteen, D. (2018). Conversation is more than communication. Conversational Leadership. Retrieved from https://conversational-leadership.net/conversation-communication/

Kraut, R., Patterson, M., Lundmark, V., Kiesler, S., Mukophadhyay, T., & Scherlis, W. (1998). Internet paradox: A social technology that reduces social involvement and psychological well-being? American Psychologist, 53(9), 1017–1031. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.53.9.1017

Whelana. (2013). Connected but Alone Ted talk.  Retrieved August 16, 2020, from https://muse.union.edu/fpr-100-01/2013/01/20/connected-but-alone-ted-talk/